Talking to someone can make a real difference. Sometimes it’s hard to get started or it seems like nothing will help, but give these a try.

Talk to a family member or friend.
There are some great hints on how to get started when it’s hard to talk:
‍
mentalwealth.nz
thelowdown.co.nz
youthline.co.nz
or look at our 'what if I don't know what to say'.

Webchat, phone or text Youthline, What's Up or 1737.
They’re free, private and want to help people with problems, big or small. Even if you’re not sure if it’s worth bothering someone, they can help you work this out. They won’t mind if you call the wrong service, and it’s fine to try different ones and see what works best for you.

Check out who else can help with all sorts of problems in different parts of New Zealand or call Healthline free on 0800 611 116 for advice and information from a trusted registered nurse.

You can also talk to a doctor, nurse, counsellor or other health professional. It’s their job to talk about private, embarrassing or tricky stuff – lots of them do it every day. Doctors and nurses talk about personal things – not just illnesses – and they have to keep your info private unless they are worried you are unsafe. School counsellors and school nurses are usually private (you can ask first) and you can talk to them about big or small things.

If you are having a hard time, let someone know. They might be able to help in ways you haven’t thought of, and talking can make a surprising difference. Try it, even if you don’t think it will help.

If it is hard to get started, give these a try. You could even just say “I don’t know what to say” and the person you are talking to might be able to help you figure it out (lots of counsellors and phone line or text counsellors like 1737 or Youthline are great at this).

‍If you are feeling really bad try this:

Breathe all the way out, let all your breath out and let your shoulders relax. Breathe in slowly.

Take 2 or 3 slow breaths.

Relax a moment and spend some time with or talk to someone. You could spend time with someone you know, or webchat or call one of the services below. They want to help. If you are unsafe right now, call 111.

Here are more options:

- Go talk or spend time with a friend or family member.
- Webchat, phone or text Youthline, What’s Up or 1737. They’re free, private and want to help people with problems big or small. Even if you’re not sure if it’s worth bothering someone, they can help you work this out. They won’t mind if you call the wrong service, and it’s fine to try different ones and see what works best for you.
- Check out who else can help with all sorts of problems in different parts of New Zealand or call Healthline free on 0800 611 116 for advice and information from a trusted registered nurse.
- You can also talk to a doctor, nurse, counsellor or other health professional. It’s their job to talk about private, embarrassing or tricky stuff – lots of them do it every day. Doctors and nurses talk about personal things – not just illnesses – and they have to keep your info private unless they are worried you are unsafe. School counsellors and school nurses are usually private (you can ask first) and you can talk to them about big or small things.

Sometimes it is hard to know what to say. Try something like:

- "I don’t know what to say. I am having a really bad time"
- "I want some help because I’m worried about what’s going on"
- "I don't know what to do"
- "I need someone to listen to me"
- "I’m not feeling good, can we just hang out?"

Some people like to:
- take a family member or friend along with them
- write down what they are worried about (you could even just hand the paper to the person)
- take their results from a mood or relationship quiz
- talk it over with a family member or a phone/web/text counsellor first.

Doctors, nurses, counsellors and many other adults are there to help you – it’s part of their job. Remember, anything you say to a doctor or nurse is confidential. This means they can’t tell other people what you’ve said, unless they are really worried about safety. This is the same with most counsellors – you can check first if you are not sure.

Try again. Try asking a different way, or ask someone else for help. There are lots of people who can help, so don't give up. Sometimes it’s useful to:
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- talk with someone in your family
- ask someone to come with you
- write down what you want to say before you go (you can even just hand this to the person)
- take your results from a mood or relationship quiz
- talk it over with a free private phone/web/text counsellor first.

Doctors and nurses help with lots of different problems. They talk with people about private or embarrassing stuff almost every day. Doctors and nurses are not allowed to tell anyone else about what you have said without your permission, unless they are really worried about you or someone else right now.

You can see your family doctor or a doctor or nurse at school. You are allowed to find a doctor or nurse who you feel comfortable with and ask to see them, not someone else. You can find more about your rights here https://www.hdc.org.nz/your-rights/the-code-and-your-rights/

‍You can ring up or book an appointment online – you don’t need to say what it is for. You can go with a family member, someone else or alone. You can find out before you go if you will have to pay.

‍Before you go
‍1: Sometimes people forget things they wanted to talk about. Taking a list can help – you can even just hand it over to the doctor or nurse.
2: Having a trusted person with you can help. You have the right to see the doctor or nurse in private or have someone else with you.

‍During the visit
‍Remember you can ask questions. If you’re not sure what the doctor or nurse is saying, ask them. If they don’t get what you’re saying, talk with them some more about why you have come. You can use these questions to make sure you get the info you need about a health problem:
1: What do you think is my main problem?
2: What do I need to do?
3: Why is it important for me to do this?

Sometimes you can feel down for no reason or have a small problem. Even if you are not too bad, you are still allowed to get help! Sorting out small things is a great idea. Check out where to start here and just ask.

Sometimes things get too much or there are really big things happening. If this happens, you are not alone. Even if you don’t think anything can help, please keep on trying. Try one of the choices that you haven’t done yet (or try one again) from here. If it is tricky, get help from the pros and if you or someone else might be unsafe now, call 111 right away.